Bolt & Oliver’s Analysis of the G20 meeting

g20.jpg Come with me to the BWI airport outside of Baltimore.  We are catching up with our two representatives, awaiting their Air Jamaica flight.  They had agreed to share their thoughts on the G20 summit of last Saturday.

Reporter: How did you manage to get into the conference;
Bolt: You see this grip?  It was full of yellow yam.  For some strange reason it has become a favorite food of the Chinese.
Oliver: Well my approach was a little different.  I told the White house that in this new era of Obama, it would not look too good with no people of color present. I mentioned that that idiot Chavez will try to take advantage of this image and pitch the poor countries that they are not being considered and not a part of the conversation.  You heard about his alternative G20 meeting?
Reporter: So how did you position yourself?
Bolt: We use a divide and conquer strategy.  We figure the two critical players are the Americans and the Chinese.
Oliver:  Well it did not start well.   I could not help myself.  They decided to dive right into the discussions.  I could not help myself. I got up and interrupted the proceedings.  I asked if we were not going to invite Jesus to the meeting.  Bush look embarrassed and the Chinese President cut his eye at me.I was forced to mumble a prayer under my breath.
Reporter: One of the major blow back was how luxurious the meals were. Can you elaborate?
Bolt: Yes we were dinning  in style Friday night while sipping wine ; dishes as “Fruitwood-smoked Quail,” “Thyme-roasted Rack of Lamb,” and “Tomato, Fennel and Eggplant Fondue Chanterelle just for starters and Shafer Cabernet, listed at nearly $500 a bottle to wash it all down.
Oliver: These people fool, fool! They should be modeling austerity not flamboyancy.   Curry goat, rice and peas with some greens on the side was suggested. We even brought a few flask of Sorrel to serve as the drinks.
Bolt: Further, the weather in Washington was lousy.  It was only 60, overcast and rainy most of the day.  Just imagine if this meeting was held on the North Coast?
Reporter: Would security be a problem?
Oliver: You kidding me right? We have some brothers who could put an end to the war on terror tomorrow!
Reporter:  Give me your perspective on the substance of the talks.
Bolt: Some of the measures to which the group agreed include the establishment of a “college of supervisors” to oversee the activity of financial institutions that operate internationally, closer scrutiny of hedge funds, and more frequent and diligent reviews of countries’ financial systems by the International Monetary Fund.
Reporter: What does that mean to you?
Oliver:  Only God knows! We better be praying for these leaders.   Trickle down economics is real! As the North American and European tourists goes, so does our economy.

Bolt: The key statement for me was this. Ensure that the IMF, World Bank and other MDBs have sufficient resources to continue playing their role in overcoming the crisis. These are the institutions whose actions I will play close attention to.

Reporter: Who had the most substantive statement?
Oliver: Well, the World bank guy had some good things to share:

Fiscal stimulus has become the main priority, he said, while cautioning that ” such actions must take into account the interests of the poor and most vulnerable in developing countries.”The World Bank also plans to continue to increase its funding to help developing countries deal with the crisis, Zoellick said, welcoming the G20’s commitment to ensure the bank will have sufficient resources. Earlier this week, he announced plans to more than double the bank’s funding capacity, including the launch of new facilities to help the private sector through the International Finance Corp.

Reporter:  Any other happenings to mention?
Bolt: yes, We were able to sprinkle around some Jamaican wealth.  We delivered some sunshine packages (A week-end vacation package to Negril)  to some key folks.First, we got one in the hands of Paulson .  He can some sprinkle some of that $700B credit card a yawd. We also get a package to the other  leader with a fat checkbook and the power that comes with it, President Hu Jintao of China.  We also gave him a patois guide, and told him we are willing to learn Chinese. He then bowed and smiled.

Reporter: Your motto Out of many , one people could be an asset.

Bolt & Oliver: That is our prayer, that’s our dream!