I know, it’s Primary Day in Florida, and you think I am going to write something about politics. Think again. I am fed up to the back teeth with American politics. I might feel better tomorrow, but today I want none of it. Maybe I’ll go back to Jamaica and join that new political party that’s going to solve everything.

Or maybe I’ll look at beauty queens.

You are welcome to join me.

Four score and eight beautiful young women took the stage for the Miss Universe 2010 Pageant last night at the Mandalay Bay Hotel in Las Vegas. Miss Mexico won, but guess who came second.

Miss Jamaica.

Yessss!!!

Maybe I’m prejudiced, but I don’t see where Jimena Navarrete of Mexico (photo above, middle) is any prettier than our Yendi Philipps (photo above, left). Maybe I am writing about politics, after all.

If that picture of Yendi doesn’t make you homesick for Jamaica, I don’t know what would.

Australia’s Jenista Campbell took third, the Ukraine’s Anna Poslavska got fourth, and Venus Raj from the Phillippines placed fifth.

How do the judges decide which of these lovely young women is the loveliest? In my book they are all God’s gift to a poor bemused male species that doesn’t have much else to cheer about. I agree with Irving Berlin – “A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody.” And if that makes me a political Neanderthal, so be it.

And, no, I am not going to do what the Toronto Sun did when its women readers complained about its daily “Sunshine Girl” feature back in the crazy Seventies. They added a “Sunshine Boy” feature so as to be fair and balanced. Yech!

I don’t care what we do to our bodies (or faces), guys, we just don’t cut it as eye candy. To me, those body builders are just as homely as the rest of us – but with a bunch of weird looking muscles. Sorry ladies.

Anyway, enough about “Sunshine Boys,” we’re talking about the fair sex, here.

And those beauty queens are fair indeed. I know, it’s demeaning to have them parade about on stage to be judged like cattle, etc., etc. But, hey, if they don’t mind, why should I?

Of course, today’s media would never be content to treat a beauty pageant like the eye candy it is. They have to generate some “controversy.” Remember Miss California’s remark about same-sex marriage last year?

I wonder what became of Carrie Prejean. She was all over the news for a while, making a career out of her “gaffe.”

Not to be outdone, the “news” in Yahoo this morning is not about who won or who placed second. It’s about the “fatal mistake” Miss Phillippines (photo above, right) made.  Asked what her worst mistake was in her life so far, Venus allowed as how she couldn’t think of any – not anything “major,” anyway.

So, according to the writer, the judges refused to give her the crown, even though she was “the crowd favorite.”

It’s become mandatory to have a “controversy” in every news story  these days – even reports of eye candy. That’s one reason American politics has degenerated into an ugly scrum.

But I said no politics today.

I’ll just enjoy the scenery.