Hey Barack! I’ve got some advice for you. Tell ’em you changed your mind. That’s right. Say, “Forget it, dudes. I don’t want to be your president now. Let John McCain and Sarah Palin take over this mess. It’s no more than you-all deserve.”

Why should you put up with a torrent of lies designed to ruin your reputation? Why fight the widespread bigotry of mindless clods who would prefer to be jobless and uninsured than vote for a “black man”? Let ’em have their war hero and their hockey mom.

Sure it will mean endless war and economic disaster, but what the heck? If that’s what they want, who are you to stand in their way? They like corruption? Let ’em have corruption? They like lies? Let ’em have lies. They want make-believe? McCain-Palin will give ’em make-believe.

If you do get elected, Barack, think of what you will face – an economy in shambles, 10 trillion dollars of national debt, a shrinking dollar, a nation divided, a world threatened by catastrophic climate change and two ruinous wars. Not to mention widespread enmity toward America – Putin in Russia, Ahmedinejad in Iran, Chavez in Venezuela, Morales in Bolivia, and so on. I say sit this one out, man. You might want to move to Europe; they love you over there.

Over here, a lot of folks seem to prefer swaggering old war horses and book-burning, warmongering “babes.” They don’t want someone in the White House who might actually have a brain. They don’t want the truth. They want tall tales about plucky housewives who single-handedly clean up a corrupt state and halt bridges to nowhere. Or about war heroes who get shot down and end up in a Vietnam prison. It’s Hollywood they want, man – not reality.

But I know you won’t take my advice, Barack. Looks like you love these people regardless of their foibles. I suppose you have faith that their better nature will prevail. But when you read those surveys showing the widespread bigotry that still persists in this country, don’t you have doubts? I guess not. You’re a daydream believer, man.