Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema

You say so many had cared for me deeply;

That I disappoint, in my search to find love:

Tell me what do you know?

Did you see how they lead me on,

Did you see on they treat me?

Like a catch-fish—a woman on the loose,

just for a mere fix,

—A conquest, a mere flight—a dose!

Or what you have heard;

Is it your way of rubbing the losses,

I had, the hurt I carried so long;

My broken heart; that I am trying to let go,

—You, rubbed this in my nose?

The dirt you have on me—that makes,

Your life complete—you glow in my woes:

Prayer is now my soul food—maybe this will be,

To the very end, my comforter, my love, the one

Who holds my soul: You speak so fine about them,

And act like you are my friend—you like me so;

The thousand friends you say you have,

You boast—to a lonely soul, I keep holding on:

To the Creator—that love me truly, the most,

“Yes, I won’t deny, I miss my Beloved,

The one whose magical hands,

Touched my heart, especially when we dance;

Whose absence hurts me –so!

For he disappeared when I needed him,—the very most:

“I must! I must! I will let him go!!!”

I wish I could feel the joy you feel, creating lies to me;

“My heart says: Keep bending on your knees,

Black as it can be, until he comes home to me:

Yet my mind say, “Its’ time to free him to the one

Who he may have treasure the most,”

As you continue to boast, ‘this one and that one,’ love me so,

“I smile within, know the truth—it was not love, but lust,

That had me bound—to a mess, I wish to free me,

I wish to erase, I wish to let go!!!”

Empress Journee