Naomi J. – Yaadinfo Contributor    [ Website ]

It seemed sincere
Like it was love and true romance
And now she’s out to get me
And I just can’t take it, just can’t break it
– Blood on the Dancefloor, Michael Jackson

Date: Saturday, October 4, 2008.
Location: The Candy Moon Club
Time: 4:51 AM

“DON’T LIE!!” Shauna shouted.
Without any hesitation, Jade leapt over Shauna and stood right next to me. Leaning on the glass table for support, she hastily removed one of her shoes.
“Jade, please…” I begged.
The last thing I needed was a scene, especially NOT in front of these V.I.P. people.
“NOOOOO WAY! Marlon? Monique? Are you serious?” Johanna asked, still looking as if she was stuck in a state of shock.
With vicious shakes, similar to that of a crack fiend experiencing withdrawal symptoms and my tear ducts fit to burst…did I actually look I was joking?
“Yes way Johanna! Serious as a heart attack,” I rambled through jittery teeth.
“It’s alright Marcia,” Shauna said in a consoling tone, before squeezing my left hand.
“I don’t believe this. Who does he think he is, the two timing prick! Come we go hot him up,” Jade stated, jumping up and down as if she’d just secretly taken a year’s supply of speed.
“Err excuse me…. Go what him up?” Shauna asked with a look of sheer disbelief on her face.
“So Marcia’s man wants to kiss up on next girl yeah? Well man can kiss my blasted fist instead,” Jade muttered to herself.
Frantically delving inside her red bag, Jade immediately pulled out a small dented tin of Vaseline. The next thing we knew she was smacking the thick jelly like sludge across the faces of the gold sovereign and white diamond clustered rings, each one located on both of her index fingers.
“Oh come on Jade. You’re not serious….Has she lost the plot???” Shauna asked rubbing her eyes.
“He ain’t my man JADE,” I screeched.
“Hold it down a sec…but didn’t he say something about wanting you guys to be exclusive doh?”
Errrm….so he did.

My thoughts continued to swerve between shock and confusion. Considering Monique said they’d been official for two months now and I’d been seeing Marlon for almost two and half, something didn’t add up. Damn, I must have ‘gullible’ tattooed right in the middle of my forehead or something.
“It’s alright Marcia, I’ll handle dis’,” Jade said cracking the knuckles on her left hand, one by one.
“Hmmmm somehow I don’t think you will Jade!” Shauna cautioned.

With Jade’s face contorted in bleary eyed fury as she sparred back and forth, warming her right upper cut up and jabbing with her left fist, something told me she wasn’t ramping. As much as I sincerely appreciated Jade’s fierce loyalty towards me, even this was teetering on the edge of psychotic insanity.
“Jade. Errmm this really isn’t the place honestly,” Johanna calmly responded, probably hoping as much as I did, that she would just give her bad gyal charade a rest.
For one thing, with her well respected position in the urban media world (envied by many haters I think), Johanna certainly didn’t need to be gossiped about by the office water cooler come Monday morning, just because her girls decided to conduct a ghettofabulous brawl at one of the biggest raves in London. I can’t lie. The way I was feeling right at this particular moment, I was more than willing to act a gawd forsaken fool, especially if it meant I could have Marlon’s balls in a pickle jar.
“Calm it Jade, it’s not ‘bout going on raggo man. We’re not eighteen anymore….damn,” Shauna reasoned whilst Jade quickly stretched both of her arms above her head.
“Save it Miss Goody gum fricking drops! Just cos’ you let any and every ol’ prick walk all over you doesn’t mean Marcia has to as well.”
Jade knocked back the last dregs from her wine glass.
“Jade, don’t you think you’ve had enough? You really should stop drinking now. You’re such an aggressive drunk you know,” Shauna snapped, rolling her eyes into the back of her head.

The term aggressive drunk didn’t quite do Miss Knight any justice. A lethal drunk was better suited.

“Oh piss off Shauna. I really wish you would give up tryna’ treat me like one of your pupils at school for f#@% sake! Don’t watch what I’m drinking. I’m twenty two, not five. Are you seriously tryna’ to tell me that we should let that Marlon get away with what he’s done to Marcia? Nah man, that’s pure f@#$ries right there!”
She wasn’t lying about that. Jade picked up the cocktail jug and poured herself another glass. Right now, nothing would have given me more pleasure than to claw Marlon’s wretched face until every last clump of his skin was wedged under my fingernails.
It was in these rare moments, I could only wish I wore those Freddy Krueger style nail extensions. Yep. Just like the ones Jade and my younger sister Simona were known to sport from time to time.
“Jade, CALM THE HELL down,” Shauna snarled whilst gracefully folding her arms across her chest.
Oh my word. I could feel it in my bones. The familiar bells of stark warning began to ring in my intuition. It took just one more teeny weeny snide remark from either side of the Knight or Bogle Camp and boy oh boy World War Three was set in motion and ready to commence battle.
“Why don’t you shut the hell up, Shauna,”
“I so can’t stand you when you’re drunk man,” Shauna jeered, sucking her teeth.
Shauna’s usually warm and friendly eyes narrowed into cold slits. Jade’s glassy green eyes bulged whilst her mouth dropped wide open in what looked like bemused astonishment.
“OH PURRRRRRLEAZE! WHAT A CHEEK SHAUNA! PSSSSHH, I CAN’T STAND YOU WHEN I’M SOBER,” Jade retorted, swiftly cocking her head from like to side like a rooster.

Marlon plus Monique. Monique plus Marlon. Marlon plus Monique. Monique divided by Marlon. My head mixed and remixed my disorientating thoughts. Okay, you’d think obtaining an ‘A’ grade in both my maths GCSE and A-Level results I’d be a bit of a dab hand when it came to the old mental arithmetics. Well, for the life of me, and no matter how much I tried, that was one equation I couldn’t work out for shit!
“Whatever, Jade. Hear what then. YOU tell me when last you were sober?” Shauna wailed looking like some kind of screw faced banshee.
Standing up and towering over Jade, Shauna’s eyes met with her opponent’s.
“WELL THAT’S JUST CHARMING THAT IS,” Jade shrilled as if she was a blinking police siren.
Swirling her neck faster than a hurricane storm, Jade’s facial expression oozed such evilness that even the devil himself would have turned and ran for cover.
“Here we go,” I muttered looking down at the floor, wishing somehow it would ever so kindly open and just swallow me up.
“Look yeah, just cos I like a drink or two, better still I ain’t some stuck up, don’t-know-how-to-enjoy-myself cow like you doesn’t make me an alky. Geez. MY GIRL, YOU WOULDN’T KNOW FUN MOST TIMES, EVEN IF IT F#@$%D YOU IN THE BATTY!” Jade roared, staring up in Shauna’s face.
Yes. It was starting to get ever so slightly out of hand now. Besides, if anyone should have been screaming and cussing right now, it should have been me for crying out loud. After all, wasn’t it me who had just spotted that two-timing, smooth operator Marlon lipsing and rubbing up that pweety promotion girl Mo-bloody-nique?
“I didn’t realise her hosting services also included linking the same guy I am! Oh man… I should have known that dick for brains was too good to be true,” I murmured as Jade gave Shauna a middle fingered salute.

Judging by the fact that all eyes in the few booths still occupied in the V.I.P section were now looking (staring) in our direction, I got the impression that we were now attracting a bit of an audience. “Come on guys, let’s stop it now,” I pleaded, still sandwiched between little and large.
No really…! Was I just speaking Dutch or something? Shauna and Jade continued to launch cusses, and fire insults back and forth. The disorderly noise coming from our booth had finally reached and surpassed fever pitch. Glancing at each other with the hint of panic in our eyes, Johanna gave me the nod. With the two of them firing on all cylinders and clearly not giving a flying monkey’s crap who heard them, we needed to get Shauna and Jade out PRONTO!
“Let’s go outside and get some fresh air,” Johanna said tugging on Shauna’s slender wrists.
“Nah, let’s just go man, this rave is over.” I sighed.
My mind freeze-framed the image of Marlon and Monique kissing, not even five minutes ago. I couldn’t help wishing that I would wake up from this terrible nightmare. I didn’t even mind being the butt of someone’s sick prank.
“I can walk on my own thanks Marcia.” Jade snapped, pulling herself away from my grip.
“Be cool Marcia, be cool,” I told myself, as the temptation to sprint back into the dance floor and confront Marlon was getting stronger.
Relaxing my clenched fists, I hastily walked towards the club’s exit.

[Continues Next Week…]