Surely by now, American voters – voters everywhere – are aware that anyone might say anything in an effort to get elected, but (as they say in Jamaica) “words are wind”?

I could stand on some podium and promise a chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage if you-all made me President but would you believe me?

I could call my opponent a perverted horse thief with ties to a global human trafficking ring but would that make it true?

Of course not. Campaign promises and accusations mean nothing. You must know that by now.

Informed voters make their choice by studying the candidates’ lives, not by listening to their chatter.

Of course it’s impossible to shut out the chatter. The media are obsessed with it. CNN, for example, is a 24-7 trumpet for Trump and his surrogates. They’ve even hired that awful Corey Lewandowsky, who is still on Trump’s payroll.

This campaign season seems to go on forever. Could there be anyone in America who hasn’t already decided how to vote?

Is there anyone who could be swayed by Rudy Giuliani’s preposterous lies about Hillary’s health? Or Trump’s apparent change of heart on immigration? Or his sudden interest in the welfare of minorities?

Look, it’s over, folks. We all know how we’re voting – if we’re voting.

But we must suffer for three more months. The candidates have yet to hold their debates. The ads will continue to overwhelm our TV screens (there’s even one next to this blog!).

The phone calls, emails and  letters will continue to descend upon us, begging and begging for our money and our time.

What a waste! Surely there’s a better way to do this.