Usain and the Illuminati



It’s been a while since I’ve heard the Illuminati conspiracy theory. You know, the one about a secret super-rich group actually controlling world politics? The belief has lurked in the shadows for many years, almost forgotten as new and juicier conspiracy stories emerge.

But it’s back in the spotlight again. And you would never guess who’s involved.

Usain Bolt.

Yes, that Usain Bolt. The one who won three gold medals in Rio. The “fastest man alive.”

I just read in Vanity Fair magazine that conspiracy theorists are interpreting Usain’s gestures to the crowd as signals – Illuminati signals.

You didn’t know the Illuminati had signals? You don’t know much, do you?

You probably don’t even know that demonic forces made deals with some humans to give them supernatural powers in exchange for their allegiance.  And you probably don’t even know that the Freemasons are not just a bunch of grown-ups who dress funny and act like kids but a dangerous secret society associated with demons.

To enlighten folks like you, Vanity Fair’s Kenzie Bryant explains how the conspiracy theorists interpret Usain’s secret signals.

When Usain covers an eye with one hand and puts a finger to his lips with the other, for example, he is signaling the Masons’ “all seeing eye” and their oath of secrecy.

How did Bryant find that out? From a conspiracy theorist on You Tube who calls himself (herself?) “What is Real.”

And “What is Real” backs up these revelations by showing old photos of David Bowie, Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga making a similar gesture.

There’s more. I checked the web and found several stories about Bolt’s supposed occult connections. There is chatter about his Masonic ring, about Jamaican “voodoo” and the number 666 – and a lot of other sinister rubbish. Some of these conspiracy theorists say Usain sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his “superhuman” speed.

Indeed, one conspiracy theorists suggests Usain Bolt might actually be the Devil.

I find this kind of thing not just absurd but offensive. I know from credible sources that Usain’s mother brought him up to be a devout Christian and I see him obviously praying before each race.

So I suppose you’re wondering why I’m wasting your time with such nonsense. I have an excuse.

In this sick and nasty US election campaign, you will hear a lot of conspiracy theories. The latest is an absurd story about Hillary supposedly trading favors for donations to the Clinton Foundation when she was Secretary of State.

You must have heard it. The TV pundits are having a field day with the story.

When you think about it, though, it’s just as ridiculous as the idea of Usain Bolt being a member of the Illuminati.

What will some people dream up next?

Vanity Fair’s story

More on the conspiracy theory

More on the Illuminati