Vastaman – Drug Mule and Gunman!

Vasta Vasta B. – Yaadinfo Contributor    [ Website ]

Greetings my illustrious members of Chocko-Blocko. Hope you’re enjoying my weekly Blog-Opera. Every week I’ll recite classic odes surrounding my life and times in the fictitious city of Chocko-Blocko. It was in this city I was resurrected and obtained Superhero status, but let’s not dwell on the future, let’s focus on the present.

OK my mother and I are about to collect Uncle Chester from the airport. He is on an incoming flight from sunny Jamaica, but unfortunately a sudden tragic occurrence is about to delay the flight.
Remember citizens, feel free to comment on subtopics within each blog. For example, why are Jamaicans always being accused of smuggling drugs?

Enjoy the Blog. 

Cut to:
Int: Air Jamaica, Airbus A340 (Landed). 1:30pm

Two hours after Uncle Chester’s flight had landed the passengers were finally given permission to disembark and collect their Luggage. The police and customs officers were ecstatic because they had captured Ten kilos of the finest Peruvian flake (aka cocaine). Air Jamaica, on the other hand, became stressed because passenger G-34, a white, female drug-mule, was pronounced dead on arrival. All the black Jamaicans on the flight held their heads high approaching customs, whilst a few of the white passengers could be heard sheepishly mumbling, “I hope they don’t think we were staying at the same Negril Hotel as her? I mean we saw her on the beach every day being fondled and kissed by a different rent-a-dread.”

Some even muttered, “So well spoken, she was apparently educated at Oxford”.

Cut to:
Int: Heathrow, Passport Checkpoint. 2.45

“Now remember weh me tell you fi seh?”


Scared witless, Mampie hesitated.

“Please come forward miss.”

Uncle Chester clasped Mampie’s hand and whispered.

“Remember answer di woman inna yu best henglish speakie-spokey fashion.”

Reluctantly Mampie made her way toward the stern looking woman. But suddenly an Arabic gentleman nimbly established a headlock on Uncle Chester then planted a nine millimetre automatic pistol against his skull.


[Continues Next Week…]