Vasta B. – Yaadinfo Contributor    [ Website ]

Greetings Citizens of Chocko-Blocko.

Today Uncle Chester was honoured a Hero. If you were ever confronted by a terrorist, would you cave-in and whimper, or “Get-up-Stand-up & Fart-pon-Dem-Fi yu-Rights”?? Read on, and please comment on what you would do?

CUT TO:
HEATHROW AIRPORT ARRIVAL LOUNGE. 3.00 PM

ANNOUNCEMENT (VO)
“Will Mr. Buster, Junior, or Mama Mention please make their way to the VIP section please”.

Not knowing quite what to expect, my mother and I made our way to the designated area and to our surprise were greeted by Uncle Chester, his new fiancée Mampie, head of airport police, head of airport security, head of the head of airport staff and TV news cameras. Uncle Chester was addressing the sexy TV news woman interviewer.

UNCLE CHESTER.
“Well darling, everybody knows it’s bad manners fi buss ah fart in public, but when it comes to terrorism I make no apology fi mi bodily malfunctions, so mi just leggo fart pon dem!”

INTERVIEWER
“So Mr. Chester, do you have any words of advice to any other terrorist organisation that might be considering more attacks on these shores?”

UNCLE CHESTER (Directly into Camera)
“Firstly young lady, yu can cut di formality and address me by my christened name, Estonian. Back to di question – I suggest any terrorist with suicidal tendency fi come down to Uncle Chester’s Chocko-Blocko Rum Bar, clap 2 domino, rub-ah-dub 3 gyal pon di dance floor, smoke 4 spliff, drink 5 red stripe, lef behind di f—-rey bomb-blast mentality and LEVEL DI VIBES!”

CUT.

[Continues Next Week…]