Yes, I Believe in Conspiracies. Here’s Why

I am one of those “nuts” derided by level-headed friends and relatives: I believe in conspiracies.

I believe:

– John F. Kennedy’s assassination was not the random act of a lone madman.

– Ditto for Robert Kennedy.

– Ditto for Martin Luther King Jr.

I simply do not accept the likelihood of a coincidence in which these three champions of liberty and justice were eliminated just like that. OK, now that’s out of the way, let me expand on my conspiracy theory addiction.

I suspect organized crime pretty much runs the industrialized world. If you’d been making trillions of dollars every year for decades, don’t you think you would have bought yourself political power by now? The only defense the ordinary citizen has is that there are several crime syndicates competing against each other. This “free market” in crime keeps us from being completely dominated by any one gang.

I remember reporting back in the Sixties (in the Toronto Star) that organized crime was invading the North American nursing home industry. By then, crime bosses controlled much of the labor union movement. If I were a crime boss, I would take over the churches, the universities, the stock market, the government – all the institutions that society depends on. Once I was in control, I would manipulate events so as to plunder the savings and loan industry, pillage the mortgage market (and have the government bail me out), and marshal the power of religion to elect my organization’s flunkies to the highest political positions.

I would own doctors and hospitals so that I could get phony death certificates and have anyone “die” of any cause I choose. I would own mental institutions where I could legally imprison people who get in my way. I would buy myself some scientists and have them sign their names to fake studies so I could get my pharmaceutical products on the market without harassment by the FDA (which I would also make every effort to buy into).

My professors would brainwash the population to further my causes, my “research organizations” and “think tanks” would churn out spurious studies and fake facts by the truckload. And my media outlets would make sure these “findings” flood public awareness.

That goes for the polls, too. I do not beleive most surveys are for real. I have never met anyone who was surveyed and I suspect the “results” are manufactured to spread false information. Here’s one that I find really hard to swallow: a Newsweek poll this week finds that 11 percent of Americans think Barack Obama is a Muslim. Right. So how come so many of them think he shares Pastor Jeremiah Wright’s beliefs? Everybody knows Pastor Wright is not a Muslim. (I don’t think he’s a Christian, either, but that’s another story.)

I believe the “war on drugs” is a fake. I read somewhere that the United States Government is the largest purchaser of illegal narcotics in the world. And I would not be surprised if that were true. Here’s one scenario I find hard to accept:

Joe Nark is a cop who makes thirty… forty grand a year. He catches a drug dealer who offers him a few million dollars to look the other way. No sir, he says, not me. I am an honest cop. So he chooses to be gunned down by the dope dealer’s army rather than take the man’s millions and sail off to Hawaii.

You would do that, wouldn’t you? Of course you would! But not everyone is as honest as you.